« dans tous les bals il est interdit aux hommes de danser entre eux »
« in all balls men are forbidden to dance together »
[prefectural order – Paris , Feb 1st 1949]
If now I try to remember, I really can’t recall the day or the precise moment when from the child I was I turned into a man or, even before becoming a man, in the eyes of who used to look after me I turned into a ‘male’ – that is, a being promised to masculinity. That day when all at once the game was lost in victory, when dancing became suspicious, and putting on colourful tatters became inappropriate.
What is masculinity? Whose is it? Does it belong to me? Or do I belong to it? How much did it give me and how much did it take from me? Can it be really something mine? And how?